i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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