Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
