I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize