loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
