Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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