I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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