I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
