I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
