I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
