overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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