Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
