I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
