Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize