Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
