who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
