i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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