you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
