he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
