you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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