ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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