I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
