I want to have your abortion
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
