yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
