Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
