had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
