Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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