I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
