She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
