I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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