I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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