porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
