"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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