I need help removing her.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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