Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
