i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
