She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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