The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
