OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
