He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
