I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
