We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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