dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
