i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
