I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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