There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
