Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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