are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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