Your dad touched me again.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
