also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
