Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize