Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
