I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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