and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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