How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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