All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
