How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
