so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
