question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
