i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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