my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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