Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
