ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
