I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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