he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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