you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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