In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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