Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
