I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
