My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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